So I've actually been meaning to write this for a few days now, but kept getting distracted by other things or just losing interest after the first few sentences, so hopefully this time I'll be able to make it through, which be confirmed if anyone actually reads this bar myself.

Okay, so first of all as of last Friday I officially submitted my final project for my first year at university, meaning I've finished my first year! I have to say I'm really proud of myself and can't but reflect on how miserable I was at college last year to being here right now, happy and content with my life, I mean seriously when those around you are noticing a difference in your personality, attitude and general approach to life you know something in yourself has changed. Going to university at the same time has been a big choice but its been worth it I have gained so many new skills and improved on others in just a year, its amazing the progress you gain when your actually learning something related to your desired skill set, something I've unfortunately not had much chance in partaking up until now. Although I would really love to get back to uploading art on here fluently again, but I really haven't had the time due the workload of the last project. Which was level design, it was a LOT of fun but very intense and time consuming, many sleepiness nights and finally handing it in was such a relief.

So anyway, I was reflecting, mainly on college, when I look back at college I think the last two years really ran me down, I did love my first two despite the adolescent emotional turbulence I displayed. However the last two years no matter how much they ground me down are what got me here today, and while I very resentful to those couple of years I can't help but admit it is because of them, because of how they pushed me with more education and pushed my farther as a person leading me to push through the all the teenage amateur dramatics and into working through issues that really mattered, I'm aware I just reiterated on that, but still.

Now that my first year is over, I'm still going in a couple of times every week for directed study which is more or less self decided class learning, personally I'm thinking about continuing to look at my 3D and maybe trying to get back into 2D, I have been working on some new stuff, but I keep losing track of it, and therefor not having a real finished product, a lot of my stuff even on here isn't really finished its just that I can't be bothered to work on it anymore, I really have motivation and commitment issues if I'm not being pushed and that is something I really need to overcome. I'm looking forward to building my skills further in the summer as well, there's no doubt I will still be working and practicing out of uni but I would love to see myself be motivate and driven enough to pull out finished pieces, like fully rendered spacecraft, with textures and nice normal and specular maps, mixing my skills in 3D and 2D to bring out some really nice scenes and concepts, having seen some work in this months ImagineFX (I occasionally pick up as issue if I think there's something relevant I can learn and expands with) So yes things are going from strength to strength I'm not quite sure when I'll actually write another journal on here, I wouldn't be surprised if it is a few months from now in fact, but anyway if you made it this far thankyou very much Please feel free to comment and what not.